Janeway’s distant relative is the reason she joined Starfleet, but her family lore might turn out to be a family snore! Fire up your Ancestry-dot-com account and take a journey into the thrilling world of 24th-century space genealogy! Can Janeway’s ancestor save small-town America? Is she actually super boring? Is this episode actually super boring? Is “11:59” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
The Doctor makes a gentleman’s wager that he can school up Seven on human rituals of dating and romance, then makes the whole thing weird by catching feelings of his own. Will Seven learn to dance, dance, dance all night, or will the rain in Spain stay mainly on the Doctor’s pain? Is there anything Jeri Ryan can’t do? Is this the closest we will ever get to a musical episode of Voyager? Is “Someone to Watch over Me” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
B’Elanna works to control her rage while the crew works to not get blown up by a malfunctioning Malon freighter! Will the away team unravel the mystery of the spooky Vihaar in time to prevent disaster? Will B’Elanna learn that sometimes bashing people with a pipe is the right thing to do? Should this episode be jettisoned with the rest of the theta radioactive waste? Is “Juggernaut” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
In an especially far-fetched episode of Voyager, a prominent think tank jeopardizes the well-being of their clients in support of their own bottom line! Crazy, right? Can Janeway and Seven outthink the thinkingest bunch of thinkers in the Delta Quadrant? Will a guest spot from the star of the TV remake of Bye Bye Birdie (he was also on Seinfeld) sway the court’s opinion? Is “Think Tank” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
Chakotay’s whole life was a million-to-one shot, but this time, he’s fighting not for glory, not for money, but for love (of ship and crew). His fights have been easy, but an upstart (alien) is going to make him prove just how far he can still go. The only thing he can’t do is walk away (because the ship is stuck in chaotic space). He’ll find out that legacy is more than just a name (or whatever madness his grandad might have passed along). Lace ‘em up and take it to the mattresses to find out if “The Fight” is GOOD… or GARBAGE!
It’s the shocking sequel to season 4’s “Demon” that absolutely no one demanded! The crew of Voyager discovers that they are actually the gooey clone crew of gooey clone Voyager, and their advanced gooey clone warp drive is slowly melting them at the molecular level! Will the crew choose hard reality over assumed identity in time to find safe harbor? Will gooey Janeway indulge the impulse for pointless self-annihilation that real Janeway keeps tidily suppressed? Will anyone discover and/or give a crap about what ultimately becomes of these posers? Is “Course: Oblivion” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Ensign Kim ain’t got a fever, got a permanent disease, and it’ll take more than the Doctor to prescribe a remedy! He’s got lots of duties but it isn’t what he needs, and he don’t wanna take a shot to set his serotonin free! He’s got all the symptoms, count’ em, 1-2-3, first he sneaks (that’s what you get for falling in love!), then he freaks (you get a little and it’s never enough)! Now Ensign Kim’s addicted and Tal’s kiss is the drug, whoa-oh-oh, her love is like BAAAAAD MEDICINE, but BAD MEDICINE results in an official reprimand. Is Case 5.17: The Disease GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
It’s Dark Frontier on the Drunk Frontier, and the quality of the discussion is more dubious than ever! Voyager finally offers up the Hansen family backstory long demanded by the masses, but will it be enough to save this movie-length tale from the rum-soaked scorn of the court? Can the Borg be outfoxed again? Will Janeway and Seven upgrade their dynamic from “contentious” to “romantically contentious?” Is “Dark Frontier” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
When the Voyager crew finds all of their most modest dreams kind of coming true, stalwart buzzkill Seven of Nine must weaponize her skepticism to save the ship from the big worm thing behind the illusion. Will Seven learn the importance of trusting weird, old strangers? Will she be able to convince the crew that their lives still sort of suck? Will the writers really try to pass this off as a Moby Dick analog in the third act? Is “Bliss” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
When one of the old, crappy shuttles crash lands inside a time-distorting gravity well, Tuvok falls in love in a hopeless place with the ace pitcher for the Racine Belles. Can Tom convince him to drop his Vulcan chill and swing for the fences? Will Voyager rescue them all before the gravity well crushes the most subtle romance in Delta Quadrant history? Is “Gravity” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
In space, no one can hear you laugh maniacally! When explorers from a dimension of pure light start a war with Tom’s favorite video game, Janeway must bravely don a kinky golden-age science fiction getup to bring fire to a villain's loins and peace back to the holodeck. Can the power of amateur theater save these hapless photonic wanderers from the wrath of Chaotica? Will Captain Proton hang up his cardboard jetpack for good? Will Janeway hang on to that costume for, uh, special occasions? Will the smug and infuriatingly soft-spoken panel of experts on WPSTV find the charming cultural artifact known as “Bride of Chaotica” to be HARMLESS… or HARMFUL?
A mysterious scar on the back of Harry Kim’s head sends the Doctor down a path of conspiracy towards the realization of a devastating truth. Also, there’s a high-level argument about sumo wrestling. Did the Doctor sacrifice the life of everyone’s favorite ensign we never met to save the life of everyone’s not-favorite ensign we meet a little too often? Can the Doctor survive a run-in with persistent moral uncertainty? Was Janeway actually at that sumo match, or is she doing that thing where you pretend you were at something just to sound cool but then you get called on it? Is “Latent Image” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
With danger nipping at their heels, the crew of Voyager smuggles two Vulcans and a bunch of telepathic refugees through the territory of the generically authoritarian Devore Empire! With loneliness nipping at her heels, Janeway considers smuggling a handsome and well-cultured Devore officer into her quarters! Will Voyager get the refugees through the convenient wormhole in time? Can the captain find love in the time of fascism? Will all this flirtin’ end in a double-cross, a triple-cross, or possibly even the rare quadruple-cross? Is “Counterpoint” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Judge Janeway sentences Cool Hand Tom to thirty days of psychological torture for the egregious crime of doing stuff that almost every other member of the crew has already done without penalty! Will Paris realize that only Janeway and her closest buds are allowed to wrap fish with the Prime Directive? Will he catch up on his family correspondences? Will we finally get the Delaney Sisters spin-off we so richly deserve? Is “Thirty Days” GOOD... or is it garbage?
Series co-creator Jeri Taylor ends her run in the Voyager writers room by saddling B’Elanna with a big ol’ nasty space bug and saddling the rest of the crew with a big ol’ nasty ethical quandary. Is a helpful holographic manifestation of a Cardassian war criminal morally distinct from a Cardassian war criminal? If good is accomplished using knowledge obtained by evil means, is the good now bad? Will somebody please chunk that gross bug puppet out the airlock? Is “Nothing Human” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
It’s another super weird day on Voyager when a biotech weapon meant to eradicate the Evil Borg causes their Good Borg to manifest the personalities of her previous victims. Can the team shut the weapon down in time to save Seven and avert a diplomatic disaster? Will Seven survive this forced reconciliation with her murderous past? Will the whole thing come off like a community theater production of “Sybil in Space?” Is “Infinite Regress” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Things get all bearded and gritty as future hard-ass Harry Kim hijacks the timeline to fix a math mistake and rescue Voyager from its frozen grave! Chakotay and his new girlfriend go along with his plan for some reason! Can a Captain LaForge (!!!) cameo save this episode from the metaphorical ice planet of a garbage verdict? Will Future Harry use the miracle of Borg quantum communication to call Present Harry a lil’ dweeb? Is “Timeless” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Hey there, little voyagers! Do you know what time it is? That’s right! It’s time for more scene-by-scene critical analysis of Star Trek: Voyager! Hooray! This week’s episode of Voyager examines anxieties related to death and loss through the lens of children’s literature, because of course it does! Will Naomi Wildman successfully cope with the possible loss of her mother when an away mission goes wrong? Can her imaginary friend be reconstituted after a fire ogre blasts him to steam? Will Neelix make the whole thing about him and his issues? Is “Once Upon a Time” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
Voyager stumbles upon a perfect recreation of Starfleet Academy in the middle of Delta Quadrant, leaving them no choice but to activate Solid Chakotay for some intense undercover recon with a little alien-smoochin’ on the side. Will anything happen in this episode beyond what was described in the previous sentence? What are the limits of diplomacy? How many times can we whisper “in the flesh” in a single, hour-long episode? Is “In the Flesh” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
B’Elanna’s losses and traumas provoke a wicked bout of depression and dangerous coping behaviors, leaving her clueless friends on Voyager absolutely and inexplicably befuddled as to why she isn’t her usual, ebullient self. Can they connect the very connectable dots in time to help her gain some emotional footing? What the hell is up with attitudes toward mental health in the 24th century? For that matter, what the hell was up with attitudes toward mental health in the late 20th century? Does the Delta Flyer look cool? Is “Extreme Risk” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
